collecting memories, not milestones

Photo by Margo Brodowicz on Unsplash

I used to be hyperfixated on reaching life’s milestones—treating them like items on a to-do list, constantly adding to my collection of accomplishments to prove to myself (and maybe to others) how successful I could be, how much of life I was living. But somewhere along the way, I realized: it’s not all about the destination.

Why was I in such a rush to graduate college, land the perfect job, get married, have kids, buy a house—all by some arbitrary age? Life doesn’t work like that. There’s nuance. Everyone’s path is different, and no two timelines are created equal.

What I’ve learned is that the journey is what makes life meaningful. It’s the behind-the-scenes moments—not the ones curated for an Instagram highlight reel—that truly stick with us. Like watching a friend light up as they unwrap a Christmas gift you picked out with so much thought and care. Or spending a quiet Saturday driving your nonna around town to her favorite stores, soaking up her stories and wisdom. It’s the time you spend writing a thoughtful text or a handwritten note, affirming a friend and letting them know how much they mean to you. Or the small act of taking the dog out in the early morning so your partner can enjoy a rare chance to sleep in. It’s holding someone in a hug just a little longer when you sense they need it.

(Yes, lowkey just slipped in the five love languages there—subtle.)

These are the memories—or “mems,” as my dear friend Steph calls them. They’re the sparks that keep our inner light glowing. They’re what sustain us through the rough patches, far more than the big milestones ever could. Life isn’t about being Thanos, collecting milestones like infinity stones. It’s about embracing the twists and turns, finding joy in the unexpected, and holding onto the little moments that make the journey worthwhile.

Don’t get me wrong—having goals is important. It’s amazing to have a destination in mind, to strive toward something that feels meaningful. But the real magic lies in how we travel. In the everyday acts of love, kindness, and presence. In creating a life we enjoy living, not just one that looks impressive from the outside.

---